My Name Is Kay: Not even good enough to be my beer coaster

Taylor Rocca, Roving Editor  Ω

If you don’t already know Kay’s name, she is about to remind you what it is…about 100 times too many.

Normally I am supportive of Canadian music ventures. Unfortunately when your music is licensed to Dumptruck Unicorn Entertainment, there isn’t much I can do for you other than send your EP back to the dumpster where it came from.

Kay is the latest in breakout Canadian pop Internet music disasters. Made famous by YouTube and sounding like an odd mix of Ke$ha, Nicki Minaj and The Ting Tings, Kay is not worth listening to.
Unless you are five years old.

Even then, I think most five-year-olds would recognize that Kay is a no-talent clown.

My Name is Kay is the debut EP for the pride of Cape Breton, N.S. The lead single off the EP is also the title track and it is even more annoying than I thought it was going to be.

“You just keep on talking,” Kay sings, “don’t know what my name is.”

Perhaps it is because I don’t care what your name is?

Perhaps it is because you are yelling your name in my ear repeatedly and it is getting on my nerves?

Perhaps it is because you haven’t done anything worthwhile that would lead people to remember who you are?

“If rhymes could kill,” Kay sings, “I would put you in a coma.”

Kay, may I ask you a favour? Just put me in a coma now. I can’t take any more.

Things don’t get better once the opening atrocity ends. The second track on the EP is M.A.J.O.R. Kay tries to convince the listener that she is m-a-j-o-r, but doesn’t explicitly state that she is a major embarrassment to Canadian music.

Thankfully she doesn’t need to explicitly state that. It’s already apparent.

Stranger is the only track in which I could find anything redeeming about Kay. Her vocal strengths are finally apparent. It might be the best track on the EP, but Stranger isn’t good enough to make up for the trainwreck that occurred prior to it.

My Name Is Kay is only good for one thing – a coaster for your beer. And even then, I’m not sure I would embarrass my beer by setting it on top of Kay’s EP.

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20 thoughts on “My Name Is Kay: Not even good enough to be my beer coaster

  1. I think you’re a pompous, stiff, sad little man (or woman, since I don’t know what you’re gender is). I’m not mad at you for disliking the EP or Kay, but I am annoyed that you feel the need to take unnecessary and unprofessional jabs at the artist and her music. Honestly, it makes you seem a little attention-seeking.

    • It’s a music review. I’m not sure how else you’d like for him to express how horrible he thinks her music is other than by expressing how horrible he thinks her music is, or how doing so is unprofessional considering giving his honest opinion on the album is exactly what he was asked to do.

      He is a bit pompous, though. You’re right about that.

      Then again, so is pointing out that you’ve used “you’re” incorrectly.

      Thanks for reading.

      • Referring to yourself in in the third person is prevalent for narcissistic assholes, or at least those trying to come off as one. Unlike My Name is Kay – in which she is different than many before her – you are a sheep. Been there, read that. Don’t bother replying with a so-called ‘humorous’ response since there is a fairly good chance no one will read it.

        Just a thought – you’re not pompous, you’re an idiot!

        At least congratulate me for using YOU’RE correctly 🙂

        Thanks for reading!

        • I’m not sure where anyone referred to themselves in the third person, nor am I sure why you’re trying to head off a “so-called ‘humourous’ response,” but congratulations on using “you’re” correctly…I guess.

  2. Kay is so talented. I actually met her backstage. She is the nicest, funnest celebrity. She opened for Hedley and has so much talent.

    I can see Kay going far. I can see her being the next Canadian Nicki Minaj.

  3. Pompous is an understatement. It takes courage to put yourself out there, and more so to then read something like this and continue! I’m not sure what you do for a living, other than sit in your basement and ‘review’ other people’s hard work, then blog about it on your laptop. It’s a good thing your mother hasn’t been reviewed for the dismal job she did with you. Try to listen to the album again, she can SING and probably at this early stage of her career is singing songs written for her, not by her. I can’t wait to hear your EP! I guess those who can’t, just blog about it in their basements.

    • I will address your comments individually.

      1. If you “put yourself out there,” as you put it, then you also have to accept that not everyone will like what you do, and will be free to comment on it.

      2. The author of this piece works for the newspaper that the article was printed in. I suggest you look into what you’re talking about before you rant about how or why an author is publishing his work.

      3. I personally listened to a selection of Kay’s music and didn’t hear any “singing.” It’s possible that she has an amazing voice, but she certainly didn’t display it on the tracks that were being reviewed.

      4. I’m not sure how you see giving an honest opinion on a piece of music when you’re asked to do so for a publication is less professional than blindly attacking someone’s mother, who I’m assuming you’ve likely never met, but I like that we live in a world where you can do so if that’s your thing.

      Thanks for reading.

  4. Taylor, I respect your opinion in this review, but I disagree. The first time I heard “My name is Kay” I didn’t really like the repetition either, but the song grew on me and I find her music fun and filled with energy. There is definitely talent there. I hope she succeeds in her career. As I grow older I have realized that life is a lot more enjoyable when you don’t take yourself so seriously, and don’t rain on other people’s parades 🙂

    • Thank you for commenting respectfully and intelligently. I’m taking liberties in speaking for Taylor, but I’d say he agrees with you that people shouldn’t take themselves too seriously. As far as raining on people’s parades, he was just asked for his opinion and he gave it. He didn’t go out of his way to find this EP and bash it…the producer sent it to the paper, and he reviewed it as he was asked to. The people who take offense to that are the ones who take themselves too seriously, I think.

  5. I think I would prefer the disk itself as my coaster. That way people won’t recognize it and it might damage the crap burned on it!

  6. I think Kay is gonna be a hott new singer so stop hating on her. She has some hott tracks on her ep and check out her and Ryan Tedders song bus stop it will be a hitt!!!!!

  7. woa.
    kay is amazing
    that ep is awesome
    normally i don’t get comment on these posts and stuff
    but seriously,
    its SICK.

  8. As a future TRU student and working freelance journalist for two local newspapers, I found this article quite comical and interesting to read. It made me think – and that is always the best reaction that can happen. Whatever happened to the music my parent’s used to listen to growing up? What happened to music with flowing melody,words which are edifying and hold a valuable message, or singers who try to make a difference in the world rather than sell themselves as pop-stars and have a goal of “being famous”?? I know, as a journalist, how much “gut” it takes to actually speak one’s mind. I hope this Fall to become involved in the OMEGA newspaper 🙂

  9. Kay is one of the main reasons I’ve shied away from mainstream music for so long. Its a forgetful song not worth mentioning at all. Call me hipster or whatever you please but if your song consists of constantly reminding the audience of your name then it is not worth anyone time to listen to. To this day it makes me cringe to see anyone consider smut like this to be called music.

  10. I like the song Stranger and downloaded it onto my ipod. Yes, I liked it the first time I heard it and continue to like it – very catchy and fun to listen to. Just like Niki Minaj and Madonna and Keisha (don’t like her music to be honest but others do) and all of those pop singers. Kay’s voice is no worse than theirs. They have just stuck it out and I hope she does too. I like her voice actually. I am the public buying her music and the public that buys the music are the only ones that matter at the end of the day. Good luck to her.

  11. Ive never seen such an absurd article, accompanied by so many stupid comments (not to say all of them are) but seriously, music reviews like this are bullshit, and the writer and the rude commenters need to cut the jealously, and stop trying to look like your all mighty and smart, grow some you little bitches.

  12. Kay fucking blows so bad I wouldn’t use her cd to scrape the windshield on my car cause I would be too busy snapping it in half.

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